Serpent in the Woods
HOLYCRAP ON A CRACKER!!!
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Question: If you video-record yourself grieving to remind yourself that you were grieving,
..how “horrible” was the event you’re grieving for that you need to tell yourself to remember it?
Not at all “logical.”
And now, it’s GMA 7’s fault, not anymore Twitter.
Grief – authentic ones – take over you. It’s there. You do not need to tell yourself to “remember” the sadness and anger or remind your “Old Man” self of the pain and that it is – according to you – “horrible” - if indeed the horrible-ness affected you.
You only tell yourself to remember a heart-wrenhcing event and have the gall to refer to it as a “souvenir” when you’ve kept the memory of it in your head not your heart. Your head may knows the facts, the details of where you were, where you’ve been, what you did, what you will do. But the head can only memorize and not assimilate the experience.
Do you remind yourself of these details because you cannot feel it and making an audio-visual note of it is the least you can do?
Why do you need to have yourself remember “this hardest thing” you’re going through when it is easier to NOT forget them?
Reportedly, a father who had no choice in the decision to have his child aborted
“have reported having persistant day and night dreams about the child that never was, and considerable guilt, remorse and sadness. For men and women alike, the feeling of emptieness may last a lifetime.”
Normally, your remorse, sadness and feelings of emptiness won’t let you forget, if indeed these emotions were authentic.
How easily forgettable is that horrible day that you have to video record yourself crying in order to “…remember how difficult (that day) was?”
Unless,
wait a minute, are YOU sure this VIDEO is for YOU?
or is it meant for someone who YOU want to NOT FORGET YOU?
The same words you want that someone to do when you tweeted “Please never forget” at the time you were in cold turkey from her supply/attention.
Is this your way of infiltrating her head and making a dent in her heart enough for her to still THINK of you? It is irrelevant whether she gets hurt, humiliated or emotionally maimed in the process, the objective is for her to either be glad or MAD enough to initiate contact with you (in any manner, type or form) - or at least THINK of YOU - specially if you know you could never get her hooked to you again (and this is your way to make her hooked enough to feel that you never left her).
If pressed and made to `fess up that you were suavely valuing and devaluing her, that you were destroying her life or that you were extracting revenge under the guise of - and using as a red herring your - pseudo-grief, blame GMA7.
But deep, not in your heart but, head - you know you’re not really sorry, remorseful or in grief. You are in mourning but not for the reasons you claim. You’re grieving because you’re not the main character in her life anymore. You have nothing to make her still attached to you the same way you’ve gotten your previous girlfriends - as well as the mother of your child - still communicating with you in any manner, type or form.
You’re left with no reason for her to come back to you or want you or even speak with you.
And you feel like hell.
You’re wounded.
You’re injured - narcissistically injured.
“The worst thing that could happen to a narcissist is that his wife cheats on him secretly and never tells him, and she doesn’t act any differently towards him, so that he couldn’t even tell. If she can do all that, that means she exists independently of him. He is not the main character in the movie. She has her own movie and he’s not even in it. That’s a narcissistic injury. That is the worst calamity that can befall the narcissist.
Any other kind of injury can produce different emotions; maybe sadness, or pain, or anger, or even apathy. But all narcissistic injuries lead to rage. The two aren’t just linked; the two are the same. The reaction may look like sadness, but it isn’t: it is rage, only rage.
With every narcissistic injury is a reflexive urge towards violence. I’ll say it again in case the meaning was not clear: a reflexive urge towards violence. It could be homicide, or suicide, or fire, or breaking a table— but it is immediate and inevitable. It may be mitigated, or controlled, but the impulse is there. The violence serves two necessary psychological functions: first, it’s the natural byproduct of rage. Second, the violence perpetuates the link, the relationship, keeps him in the lead role. “That slut may have had a whole life outside me, but I will make her forever afraid of me.” Or he kills himself— not because he can’t live without her, but because from now on she won’t be able to live without thinking about him. See? Now it’s a drama, but the movie goes on.
So if you cause a narcissist to have a narcissistic injury, get ready for a fight.”
credit: http://www.cheezmiss.com/2011/12/question-if-you-record-yourself.htmlAUTHOR: CHEEZ MISS | POSTED AT: 1:06 AM
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Of course it’s Twitter’s fault a.k.a. Of course it’s (fill in the appropriate scapegoat here)’s fault
What would you do?
If
You’re a big-talking dude who has had a year-long relationship with a comely woman (who could pass for a model/actress) but now wants nothing to do with you - for reasons only she knows, feels or has experienced.
To make matters worse, she has put boundaries on her self and established NO CONTACT by changing her phone number and coursing any communication made by you through her lawyer.
How could you possibly get through to her?
How could you possibly get her back?
Or at least, how could you possibly get her attention back onto you and YOU alone the way it - possibly - has always been during the whole duration of the relationship?
How could you infiltrate her head and make a dent in her heart enough for her to still THINK of you? It is irrelevant whether she gets hurt, humiliated or emotionally maimed in the process, the objective is for her to either be glad or MAD enough to initiate contact with you (in any manner, type or form).
After all, you really don’t care about her. You don’t really love her. In theory, you do. You tell her you do. You say the right things, buy her the right stuff. You even make sure that you are always communicating with her.
Even when you’re not physically around her, you make sure your voice is heard in her head so that anytime she does something, she hears you in her head and think to herself, “well (place name of dude here) would say XYZ if I do this.” In fact “no one else who knows her understands why you’re with her.”
You are attached to her not in a genuine & emotionally intimate way. You are attached to her through your sense of smell, sight, touch or sound. Maybe through the way her perfume smells or the way you see or remember the strand of her hair in your shower. That is why you need to be physically close to her or at least have her feel that you never emotionally left her (akin to her feeling emotionally haunted or hunted by you) because you lack the capacity for authentic empathy and you can only get the faint sense of closeness via physical proximity.
That is all you’re really after anyway. She is your supply source. And her not speaking to you, not wanting to see you is similar to an alcoholic not getting his early-morning vodka fix. It is similar to a junkie getting 0 grams from an absent dealer.
And now you feel like a black hole. You feel sick. You are depressed. You are in cold turkey.
You now feel like a baby who is protesting loudly because she is not answering your need for a booty. That is why you’re crying everyday.
You will do anything to get some thing from her. A text would be a good start. If she does text back, that means she still can and wants to speak with you somehow. Then maybe you can slowly manipulate her enough so you two can talk on the phone. If you can get her to talk to you on the phone, a physical meet-up is therefore highly likely. Slowly but surely. This thing takes time and energy - but it is all worth it.
But she still won’t budge.
Oh wait, she’s online!
Why haven’t you thought about this before? She still tweets. She still responds to tweets. Maybe if you can get her to tweet anything or something about you, she will finally give you attention.
Calling her derogatory terms is too transparent, so screw that.
Now, think. What did she dig about you? Better yet, what did you show/tell her about you - that may not be necessarily true - which made her fall for you.
Did you show her romance? Then give her romance.
Did you show her how generous you are? Remind her how generous you were.
But why should you be good to her when she made you feel like hell? And who says you can’t punish her while being romantic whilst ennobling yourself in everyone’s eyes all at the same time? See, if she won’t give you attention, get it from everybody else out of her expense. Use Twitter to pour all your narcissistic injuries out.
It’s like hitting two birds using one social media tool.
So go! Tell her - and everybody else too - what you did for her, what you bought for her, what you were willing to do for her. Also, don’t forget to tell her - and everybody else too - what she did to you, with you, for you. She bathed in your shower? Tell everyone! Did you kiss a lot? Count the ways she did and how.
If she still has healthy boundaries and refuse to talk to you, the least you could do is make her not forget you that easily. You could also include that in your tweet: “Please never forget.”
If pressed and made to `fess up that you were suavely valuing and devaluing her, that you were destroying her life or that you were extracting revenge under the guise of wanting reconciliation, blame Twitter!
(or play the DUH card and say “I don’t know”).
Wasn’t Twitter the sole entity responsible for broadcasting your dirty laundry?
If not for Twitter, no one could have read your tweets right?
If Twitter wasn’t so damn popular, no one would have read or cared what you were saying about her, correct?
See, it’s that easy. Denial of accountability and responsibility is that easy. That is your default position. Make sure you are exclusively focused on your self so you can look at yourself in the eye and honestly say “I never meant to hurt anyone” and you believe it as true.
But deep, not in your heart but, head - you know you’re not really sorry or remorseful. If you were, you would care enough for her or the people left to clean up the mess you left. You know you’re actions are inhuman but you don’t feel guilt, only shame - because you are still not being paid attention to by the object of your obsession.
And finally pray too that she won’t read this or your cover will be blown.
Pray too that you’ll learn to enjoy misery because - at the rate you’re going - you’ll be there most of your life.credi: http://www.cheezmiss.com/2011/05/of-course-its-twitters-fault-aka-of.html
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